There’s so much that’s gone on since the last time I wrote that it would take far too long to even begin.Â I’ll sum it up by saying that I lost my job at the end of October and I’ve never been so relieved about anything in my life.Â Good riddance is really the best way to describe it.Â Amazingly, unemployment is a far better feeling than walking on egg shells every day to avoid offending an unpredictable, unstable personality.Â Having to go there and swallow my pride, my intellect and a lot of bile that was boiling to the surface was soul sucking and detrimental to my health and well-being.Â
The loss of the job was also kind of fortuitous.Â I’ve been sick in bed for more than two weeks and if I still had that job, the stress of not being there would have been added to my current sorry state and probably would have just been another excuse to get rid of me.Â This way, the only thing I have to focus on is getting well.Â It’s been the weirdest illness I think I’ve ever had.
It started the day after Thanksgiving with odd muscle pain in my arms and legs.Â By that Sunday, I was feeling fatigued and just vaguely under the weather.Â By Monday, I knew there was something really wrong.Â I had no respiritory symptoms, which is strange for me, since when I get sick it usually manifests in a stuffed nose, sore throat, bronchitis, sinus infection sort of combination.Â This time, I had none of those symptoms at all.Â I’ve been weak, fatigued and in a great deal of muscle pain.Â I’ve been running a low-grade fever for the better part of two weeks and basically the doctor is stumped.Â I’ve had two rounds of blood work.Â The first ruled out Mono, Lyme disease and a bunch of other fun ailments, but my white blood cell count was suppressed and my liver enzymes were elevated.Â The doctor thought I might have hepatitis.Â
The second round of blood work ruled that out too.Â As scary as that diagnosis is, it was almost betterÂ to have a name for what’s wrong.Â But, no such luck.Â The second set of blood tests showed that my liver enzymesÂ are stillÂ elevated.Â Â Still no answer, no name for what’s going on inside my body.Â So, tomorrow I’m going for an ultrasound of my liver and gallbladder.Â I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m a little nervous.Â Not for the ultrasound itself, but for what might be found.Â I’m hopeful that it’s just a weird virus of some sort that there’s no name for.Â That’s kind of where the doctor has been headed.Â However, just the fact that he wanted me to have an ultrasound at all is making my mind race.Â What could they possibly be looking for?
Â I comfort myself with the thought that I’m feeling a little bit better.Â Though not back to health yet, I’m actually able to get up and feed myself without feeling completely fatigued and I haven’t had a fever in about 48 hours.Â Maybe I’m almost through this thing.Â Whatever it may be.
I guess I’ll know tomorrow…or I won’t.Â All evidence to the contrary, have I mentioned that I’m not really good without concrete answers?Â I guess we’ll just have to see what tomorrow brings…