Part of the issue is that I’m fighting a cold, but the other part of the issue is that I’m overwhelmed by all that I have to do before I go to Florida on the 23rd. Also, overwhelmed by the millions of ideas floating around in my head that when I sit down to execute them, they either don’t materialize as I wish or they disappear altogether.
I’m a huge crafts geek. There’s nothing that I find more inspiring than craft supplies, books, magazines, stores…you get the point. I am certain that I own more arts and crafts supplies, books and magazines than most people and yet at the moment I am feeling paralyzed by my inability to do anything with them. I have tons of projects in my head. I have a whole bunch of people who need holiday gifts. I am in my bed like a slug and staring at the television. Now, I guess I should ease up because I am home sick this weekend and I am feeling a bit narcoleptic. But that doesn’t explain the countless times over the last month or so that I’ve been staring at the TV or the computer screen or whatever, while thinking that I would do something crafty in a little while, and “in a little while” just never happens.
It’s this part of my personality that I find so frustrating on a regular basis. Doing this stuff brings me a huge amount of joy and yet, I allow myself to be an immovable object. I bought a bunch of amazing charm packs to create a couple of cool quilt projects; I have a ton of beads and ceramic pendants to make some jewelry, there’s yarn for knitting scarfs for my nieces, rubber stamps for jewelry-making and for ceramics. Looking at all of these supplies makes me so happy. Perusing the projects in my books and magazines does too. I am inspired. And yet, I am stuck to the spot.
I have another blog that should be full of posts about the things I’ve made and the things I’m working on. Nope, not a peep from me, other than promises of “soon”. And an Etsy store that should be selling gifts for the holidays, and I haven’t managed to take a single photo or post a single item (though, there’s definitely stuff to sell). Argghhh…the frustration of being trapped by my own inertia.
I want to turn over a new leaf. I want to be productive and have stuff to show for my labors. I want to sell the stuff that’s been packed away waiting to be sold. But, I haven’t yet found the thing that will push me, to put me firmly in the place where I am creating on a regular basis and where I’m regularly earning some extra money from the stuff I’ve made, rather than the hankering to create that so easily turns into a missed opportunity spent putting it off.
The medication I’m on has helped somewhat, I guess. It makes organizing my thoughts easier. It makes not feeling overwhelmed a bit easier. But, I know that the other part of this is just me and changing my habits. Until I find some way to push past the natural inertia, I’ll be sitting here on my bed, staring at websites, perusing books and magazines, making plans for all the wonderful stuff I’m going to create. A big ball of ideas and potential, yet to be turned into action…