Today the “I don’t feel like facing the world” voice won.  I had intended to go grocery shopping and get a couple of other errands done, but instead I never left the apartment.

On the other hand, I did apply for about a dozen jobs.  That’s a positive, though, and I count it a good day when I get that much done.  And I’ve been feeling pretty good about the job search, with some positive stuff coming up, including a job interview on Thursday for a job I’m really excited about (and hence terrified of the interview process).  But, there was this other job that I interviewed for last week for a pretty cool start up.  The salary was lower than I really want (or need), but it was a good opportunity and an interesting job.  I felt pretty good about the interview and the founder told me that she liked me, thought I’d be great, and wanted me to meet with their investors, probably this week.

And then today I got an email from the other person at that startup who interviewed me, and the news was crappy.  They are going with another candidate, thankyouverymuch for your time.  I handled it pretty well, I think.  I sent them a response, thanking them but telling them that I was surprised and disappointed because they had told me they wanted me to meet with their investors, and that I would have been an asset to their company, but I wished them well.  I was a grownup about it, which I think they probably need there, since, seriously, you don’t tell a candidate that you are going to have them meet with your investors and then have one of your underlings send a “thanks but no thanks” email.

And you know that unintentional napping I tend to do?  I did it.  Only, it wasn’t unintentional at all.  It was completely intentional.  It’s not because I’m just so tired (though sometimes I sleep poorly), it’s because it’s a coping mechanism.  I don’t often acknowledge that, but it is.  I shut down emotionally and I go to sleep.  I guess there are other, far worse ways to handle something like this, but there are certainly far better ways to handle it too, like say, for instance, taking a walk or going to the gym, but today that didn’t happen.

But, I’m going to forgive myself because as these things go, it’s a relatively gentle way to escape, I had gotten some good stuff done today, and I woke up feeling better.  Plus, tomorrow I have the opportunity to do it differently.  So, while I’ve had many a day that felt like one step forward and two steps back, today at least felt like two steps forward and one step back.  Net positive, at least as far as setbacks go…

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