Being Kind to Myself…

So, I did something today that I haven’t done in a really long time.  I went shopping for clothes…at the mall.  There aren’t many malls in the city, so it required a trip across the Hudson to Jersey City, New Jersey.  Not really what you would call suburban, but it’s close enough. To the mall I went.

But let me step back a minute.

Last week I had a phone interview with a local start up.  They called me less than an hour after I sent in my resume, and after a short conversation, they invited me to come in for an interview on Monday.  That felt pretty good.  I’m not sure what to expect or whether they can even afford me, but I should be excited that I have an interview.  Opportunity, right?  Instead, I found myself dreading it.  Why?  Because I didn’t have anything to wear that I feel good in.  Nothing seems to fit me anymore.

I mentioned in my last post that I’ve gained some weight while I’ve been unemployed.  Living in the city and commuting via subway provides a minimum amount of physical activity each day.  Not a huge amount, but compared to those living in car cultures, the base line is higher.  It helps at least to maintain my weight.  So, without a job, and without working out regularly, no exercise to speak of.  Add to that eating from stress, boredom, or any other fun reason, and it’s the perfect storm for weight gain.  A lot of weight.  So, here I find myself.

Rather than spending the weekend stewing, or lamenting the many articles of clothing in my closet that don’t fit, I decided to actually do something about it.  It doesn’t seem like a big step, but it is.  I didn’t punish myself for my current predicament, I instead spent the day finding something that makes me feel confident, so I can spend my interview talking about what I can do for this company and why they should hire me, rather than worrying if my pants are too tight.

Not miraculous.  Not revolutionary.  Just a tiny little step (and an inexpensive one at that) forward.

Next stop, back to the gym…oh, and also that interview.  I’ll keep you posted.





Taking the Guilt out of Guilty Pleasures…


Theoretically, I have many guilty pleasures:

The thing is that none of them make me feel guilty.  I find joy in small things and I like that I can find it in things that are pedestrian, cheesy, and sappy, not just in those things that are intellectual and cultured.  It makes me a more well-rounded person.  It also makes me better in trivia contests!

When it comes to guilty pleasures, I’d say that the only ones that actually give me any guilt feelings at all are my junk food indulgences — Taco Bell’s Soft Taco Supreme, Burger King’s Whopper with Cheese, Tim Horton’s Timbits.  But this has nothing to do with my unsophisticated choice of cuisine, but my feelings about food and weight in general. It’s bad for me, it’s unhealthy, but it tastes delicious, so I eat it anyway.  I really just need to separate out the guilt from the pleasure.  If I only indulge once in a while, there’s no reason to feel badly.

The lesson for me is that guilt is overrated.  Life’s short.  Indulge (even if only occasionally) in the things that make you happy!